Giving Up The Ghost

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Ghosting. The word itself sounds like a haunting, doesn't it? The vanished breaking of all connection, floating away like a specter, leaving behind confusion, hurt, self-doubt, and profound sadness… a chill in the air where warmth once was. The ghosted person is usually left abandoned to restless nights and anxious days obsessing over what went wrong. 

When did this become an acceptable way of treating others? What happened to bowing out gracefully? To decorum? To basic human decency? Who decided it's okay to simply vanish from someone's life without a trace? I understand it’s hard to say goodbye. It’s uncomfortable to voice that final farewell to a partner, lover, family member, or friend. You tell yourself, “It's kinder to spare them the pain,” then quietly recede into the ether. But is it really about kindness? Or is it more about sparing your own discomfort than protecting another's feelings? 

It often feels like the latter. 

How quickly a message left unanswered corrodes into anxiety, questions, and self-blame in the mind of the one left behind. They frantically sift through their database of memories, desperately searching for an explanation or any clue as to what could have gone so wrong. “Was it something I did that drove them away without even a last word?” The mind races to understand what cannot be understood, to find closure where the door has slammed shut without warning. The ghosted person might start to wonder if there is something wrong with them, or if they did something to offend the other person. A clean, clearly communicated break heals far quicker than the trailing train of self-doubt and hunts for retrospective red flags. Trust me on that.

When we ghost, we leave restless spirits in our wake. Spirits that haunt the connections we once shared...looking for answers, for peace, but finding only a perpetual state of purgatory. 

In time, those spirits will find their way onward, but why leave such disruption when just a few thoughtful words could lay them gently to rest? Is it not our responsibility to honor these souls we once cared for, even if that care has come to an end? Do we not also honor ourselves by living with integrity? 

Little of value ever is easy. Search inside yourself, find your courage, and resolve to speak your truth with compassion. Do the right thing, not the easy thing. Leave others not in swirling chaos, but with dignity and closure to walk peacefully on their way. We can honor the souls we once cared for simply by sending them a final message, thanking them for the time we shared together, and wishing them well. Speak respectfully, truthfully, but decisively. We owe each other this small mercy, else what meaning ever lived in those connections we now sever? Does the ghost also haunt itself, I wonder, wandering restlessly in your conscience? Was it worth it? I would argue never. 

Be better than a ghost. Find your humanity again. Do what your integrity asks, though it shakes your voice and brings tears to your eyes. This is how we plant seeds of trust to grow between us, even as we go our separate ways... or even preserve the possibility that our paths will cross again when and if the time is right.