And Not But...
And Not But…
By Henry-Cameron Allen
August 1, 2023
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www.LostTravelers.Club
Consoling poems and memes
Acknowledging a mother's grief
Come across our feeds every day.
And what about fathers?
A father’s feeds echo with the lonesome,
Woeful void of silence.
It is true that poems and memes for dads are but few.
And yet we feel too.
Unseen, unheard, unacknowledged,
Left to fend in the shadows.
Of course a mother's grief journey is unique.
Unspeakably intense.
And a father's grief is just as unique,
Our pain is just as intense.
Sure, we didn’t get to be the ones
To sing to our babies to life within our womb,
To rock them to sleep as they nursed at our breast.
And still, we are their fathers,
We love them just as much.
Our grief is raw, our tears are true.
So please, remember us
And consider us.
And when you post a poem or a meme
About grief over a child,
Consider stating "a parent's grief”
Because fathers are parents too.
It does not go without saying.
Our grieving is deep and real,
And it deserves to be remembered and held.
And not but...
A very powerful Dadcast where Perrigine dads share the pain of having outlived their children, as well as the joy of having been a dad. I commend your co-hosts for eloquently telling their stories and, in so doing, opening the door for fathers to reach out and share how outliving a beloved child affected them. Your first co-host, shared how he wore his son's clothes to the memorial because he wanted his son to be there. Your second co-host searched and found The Recovery Grief Method and now volunteers helping the homeless. These heartfelt stories show us that we all grieve in very unique ways and, when we are on a mission to find meaning and purpose for our suffering, the Universe opens doors and showers us with the love, compassion and guidance needed. Thank you, Henry, for the love and support you offer, and for increasing awareness in a culture where grieving dads are often forgotten.